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by "Pat" on 2004 Dec 21 - 17:00 | reply to this comment The ways of knowing "Pat" wrote:

No man, dominant or not, is going to interpret your winning an intellectual debate as a bid to take physical control of you.

See, that was an ironic, tongue-in-cheek remark. No, I don't actually expect a man to pounce on me in a mad frenzy of wrestling fever, just because I've won a debate. But I would like it if men did not interpret that as indicating that I want to be the one in charge, or that I'm not sexually submissive. Once a relationship is established, then I might expect the man to react to my winning the debate with a little demonstration of his own male physical superiority. But a stranger? No, I doubt it.

"Pat" wrote:

You've got to put your wants out there to men and maybe then the one you are looking for might emerge.

No submissive woman wants to have to say "please dominate me" -- because then if the man complies with that, it's as if he's doing it just to please her, and not because he actually has some strong dominant urges of his own. See? It's like saying "please rape me" - if you have to get to that point, then it doesn't really feel like rape, and is not really likely to fulfill your rape fantasies. Once again, for me, it's all about the conquest - a powerful dominant man forcing me to submit to him.

Does that mean that he has to push me around and ravish me, on the first 2022-09-15 No, of course not. There is a way to lead up to that. But it should not be up to the submissive woman to have to take the initiative. It should be up to the man to do a little creative exploring, to find out whether or not this woman is one who would enjoy his forceful dominance. That way, he can be the one in control, right from the start. Like I've said before, there are all sorts of ways of exploring that. At the risk of repeating myself, here are a few typical ideas for dominant men: