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It’s not even exactly how you ‘feel’ or how he/she makes you ‘feel’, precisely. Sure that certainly helps. Everything & everyone. But that part of the neurological & limbic system is our most very basic. It can be and has been easily fooled in the past. Witness the ‘make-up’ & beauty industry empires. Why do they exist? Because some of this stuff does work. And even on the margins, that’s seen as somehow ‘significant’. It’s all about your ability to make choices in your life & how well you’ve done this in the past. A woman or man who’s constantly & forever ‘unlucky in love’ has several handicaps perhaps. The most benign might be a streak of ‘bad luck’. Among the least benign are those who continually happen to choose to be or are inevitably attracted to dangerously abusive and/or uncaring partners, again & again. If you as a woman are inedibly drawn to those ‘bad boys’ or had a decade or so of ‘playing around’ with them to sow your wild oats (or whatever other rationale there exists for same)? That says something about your maturity & your readiness for adult life. Sorry about that. Ditto for the cads slutting it up on their end. Sure as socially constructed the guys are not going to be as sanctioned for this behavior as are the females. But there’s plenty of good sound biological reasons for that too, and BTW? If you’re looking for the Dads & Not the cads? Their numbers are accordingly fractional by way of comparison. So again no hard numbers. And feelings can ever be elusive guides to life & ‘character’ even. But what are your choices saying about YOU? Can you explain all what has gone on to Granny/Uncle/Momma at the family picnic? (Not that anyone actually asks anymore in most families!) Can you rationalize it to yourself w/o using silly excuses? (But he/she looked so damn hot/cute/’doable’, that was a ‘one off for the month/year/week, but he/she was a banker/broker?!) That’s what it’s all about. Are your choices healthy for you. Not for the moment, but in the context of the rest of your life? Slutting it up? Sure it’s fun for everyone. But long term? The only advantage that might accrue to anyone is the slight pick up in temporary self esteem & orgiastic release perhaps. There’s little possibly upside here other than fodder for racy adverts & the ever occasional yes, ‘inconvenient’ but fatherless child. Which BTW? Can also be a blessing for many, strangely enough. Not that I’m recommending it for anyone. Cheers, ‘VJ’ dragnet says: August 12, 2010 at 3:27 pm I find it really hard to believe that people like Amanda Marcotte don’t understand short-term mating drive vs. long-term reproductive investment. Just because you get a boner for a girl you know is promiscuous doesn’t mean you want to be with her on a long-term basis. I’ve noticed a greater tendency to conflate the sexual drives with regards to other topics as well. I recently read an article on the cuckoldry/hotwife niche—some third rate scientist said that because some men get aroused after after hearing their wives have cheated on them, they should ignore their anger and mental anguish and welcome being cuckolded because ‘Hey! It obviously turns them on, right?!?!?’. Apparently, the notion of engaging in “sperm wars” as a strictly short-term strategy to mitigate the wife’s infidelity completely eluded her. It’s really the same with the whole apparent taste for sluts some men display.
