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Noone wrote: A woman is not likely to engage in fantasy when she is with a strong man. Nor, from my observations, is she as likely to seek escape in novels or mind-altering substances. The only reason I go through phases of not reading much is out of deference to my over-loaded bookshelves and the bank balance. I am a voracious reader – I always have at least one book on the go, quite often 3 or 4. I prefer to read than to watch TV.
B is a strong man, definitely HoH, and has spanked me on more occasions than I can remember. I do not want – or need – to escape him. But when I read to escape, I read to escape certain aspects of my life, to immerse myself, however briefly, in someone else's imagined reality. I still engage in fantasy too – although the sexual ones revolve around B, and if I fantasise with any clarity, then it gets shared with B. But those fantasies can be pretty vague – centring around sensation more than anything ;-) But I indulge in other fantasies, in day-dreams, in making up stories to tell myself, in conducting debates in my head with people I know only through reading their words.
However, I do not read (or fantasize) as a substitute for life – and I suspect this is what Noone means. I know enough people who read fluffy pink romance novels, or watch their equivalent on TV or at the cinema, and complain that their life doesn't measure up to these "ideals" without actually doing anything about it. And the more they take refuge in this world, the worse their own seems by comparison, so the more they withdraw. Their partner is either blissfully unaware anything is wrong and carries on as normal, or feels something is wrong – but believes the other to be happy, so carries on as normal...
